What about his Calling?
My son observed this about Singapore's attitude to education: It is like the driver is concentrating so hard on driving to get to his destination, he refuses to notice there is a highway or a tunnel to make his journey shorter. Everyone is so focused on what he is asked to do, he misses out how to get to his destination better and quicker even when you point him to a short cut.
A Standard Aspiration
It
is amazing that many of us are so engrossed in chasing what we are told to for
our children that we forget why we are doing so: we fight mindlessly to
get into GEP, for good PSLE T-scores, straight As in 'O' and 'A' levels,
perfect IB and GPA scores. So if everyone is closing in on perfect
scores, how do we differentiate one perfect scorer from another?
In our gathering where we saw our 13-year-olds meet after their first
semester in their respective secondary schools, I am curious what the
boys' plans and career hopes are. Interestingly, my lawyer friend and
fellow parent pointed out to me that every single one wants to be either
a doctor or a lawyer, but none of them knows why. The
none-of-them-knows-why part surprises and worries me.
I don't
believe two classes of 50 gifted students all have the same calling and
share just two gifts, so realistically, some will be spending 40 years
of their lives doing something they are not passionate about, and that
will be so tragic.
Finding an Individual Passion
As a parent, I believe the one single most
important responsibility is to help each child find his passion, his
purpose and calling in life. It is already sad that many of us
who grew up in third world Singapore in the 1970s fail to find these in
our entire lives in the name of survival. Yet many of us are passing the same fate to our children.
We parents ferry our children in and out for all sorts of classes to
pursue academic excellence but do not know what our children's passions
are. As a society, we judge a student by his GPA or aggregate score in
standardized exams like 'O', 'A' levels and SAT. So what about the area
that he really sparkles in, do we look deep into each child's talent
even if it is not measured in standardized exams? Do we spend time to
ensure each child gets to pursue his love, his dreams and his career? Do
we find time to listen to each child's heart so that we know his dreams
and then help him achieve them?
Acceleration = Finding a Calling Early
The earlier we help our
children find their passions in life, the happier they will be, and
the earlier they will be on their career paths. Doesn't this sound
perfectly logical? Isn't that what we all hope to do?
Instead
of focusing on our steering wheel and driving the same road we are told to,
we can look harder to find that tunnel or highway and that short cut.
That accelerated path has been there all along: in each child, and he has
been trying to tell us all the time how to lead him to the life he wants.
He has been trying to tell us how to differentiate him from the
multitudes out there.
Would we be drivers who find the correct roads and paths to help our children get to where they want to go or would we rather insist on the perfect roads to take so that they reach the predestined aka OUR destinations?